By Rajat Subhra Chatterjee
0076
Unfortunately, whenever a Nirvoya or an Avoya incident takes place in metropolises, we wake up, though in this country, every day, every hour such blatant, heinous and hell of crime is committed and we simply remain aloof or non-reactive as these escape our eyes. But our hearts for our girl child bleed, cry and very rightfully we demand to get at the perpetrators. A reaction – perfectly in order.
Concern for our girl child thus grows. Agony for our girl child thus become vicious. Pain for our girl child thus become unbearable even in normal situation too, because we live in a country where we really cant say which one is more happening – rape and murder or destroying of girl fetus. A crime, unpardonable.
Yet, whenever such an incident takes place, I somewhat become withdrawn and very selfish unconsciously though momentarily, as I too have kid grand daughters and my focus immediately shifts to their safety even at this age of mine and yet from such a distance ! On a bigger perspective, this concern for children is a habit for all parents right from their childhood, irrespective of daughter or son.
When a child leaves the safe shore of parents for the first time, he/she at most of the time, is left to the mercy of God and no one else. Most of us have had this terrible experience in life to leave his/ her child at a distanced place primarily for studies or first time job. And if that child happens to be the only one, then the pain compounds to an uncompromising level. Incidentally, we brothers and sisters – each of us have only one child. And all of us have suffered the same pain in our lives. Not being a psychologist, it’s difficult for me to unearth the inner feelings of my other siblings, but I felt the agony of them too and tried to share as per my capabilities.
This tale is all about my own child, our only son who is now – with God’s grace – happily placed with a huge corporate responsibility along with a sweet family. Incidentally, he has two lively daughters ( my Angels ) with his charming wife. That we don’t have a daughter, is no regret at all as our daughter- in- law is more than our daughter who symbolizes peace, harmony and unity together with stitching and enforcing all laws in the home and family.
This story begins when my son got his first job. Both me and my wife accompanied him to Jaipur. And what a start it was to that journey ! The flight captain was very known to me like my younger nephew who took my son in the cockpit and he had the most enjoyable flight ever, on way to his first job destination. Sitting in the cockpit, my prince was seeing the sky from so very near yet so far away but definitely had the feeling of touching the sky. That was a kind of journey to one’s first job destination can only be dreamt. In reality, it’s difficult.
Our son never before had stayed away from us till his graduation.. From nursery to high school, his mother had been his guide, teacher and admonisher all the time. His relationship with me as father was only when he needed anything out of the box. I gladly tried my best to keep him happy. I never had the time to intervene neither had I the intention as the mother was so much over powering. And rightfully, she was doing a great job. But when my son got into the college, then onwards, I took over. In every sense. If he was late from college or tuition, I used to proceed to his place of study or used to stand on road in the dark hour of the night with trembling heart. Today when a girl’s parents fear for any undesired happenings, I too used to get feared for my only son in those days – 30 yrs back.
We were in a joint family then and I being the eldest, I had two other sons from my two other brothers and another son and a daughter from my two sisters who were of equal concern for me. The youngest of these siblings was very unfortunate as he lost his mother when he was only 11. That was a blow to our family which we have not been able to overcome even after 24 years. For which my and my wife’s care and concern was a bit more for this lovely 11 year baby amongst his siblings.
…. On reaching Jaipur, we went to the mess where my son was to stay. We entered and got horrified to see six wooden cots were lined up in a darkish room with no fan and practically no proper ventilation. After initial shock, we pondered how our prince, used to so much comfort and ease at home, would spend his days under such trying condition? Fortunately, he was welcomed by other mates and we had to leave him in the midst of his peers and colleagues. It was painful to such an extent that on way back we cried the whole journey.
Entering home, we went into my son’s room and stared at his neatly organized desk and bed and found two posters, those of Steffi Graph and Sachin Tendulkar, my son’s most favourite sports persons that time – were on wall as it is. Nothing was missing, only we knew, that our son will not stay in this room for some time to come. To this, we yelled, cried our hearts out and loud enough that compelled our neighbors to rush in to empathies with our moments of despair. The brighter side of this void was the larger pleasure we used to derive whenever our son used to come home in breaks and we used to enjoy qualitatively.
The tale of agony is over. As I reminiscence now, I also look back and remember painfully, the herculean efforts used to be undertaken by two of my other sons – my younger brother’s and sister’s – as they used to travel in unreserved train compartments and unreserved buses to commute to an engineering college at Guntur, far remote inside Karnataka. Even today, I feel the agony of my brother and sister how they felt in those years. Both of them however, are now very big. The only girl child amongst these siblings – my elder sister’s daughter- had too gone to Allahabad for engineering and her parents must have felt as I have been describing. The only silver lining for her was that at the college, she met her match in a golden boy then, now a big Man for her life. Even the youngest of the siblings, the most unfortunate one, now happily married and placed, had to go to Christ College in Bengaluru and his loneliness was being shared sometimes by his father, sometimes by me by paying visits to him spending quality time. Well, his Masi ( elder sister of his late mother ) was living in Bengaluru which was a huge relief for us.
So the pain and concern continues. And will continue for all parents for their children as this is eternal. Safety and security – for that matter – for any one of us, has become so uncertain that no one can rest assured. We all live in utter uncertainty and chaos. But strongly believe in GOD.
Asoto Ma Sadgomayo
( Lead us from the Falsehood to the Truth )
Tomosho Ma Jyotirgomayo
( Lead us from the Darkness to the Light )
Mrittyur Ma Amritam gomayo
( Lead us from the Death to the Immortality )
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti…
…..Concluded…
